Is flash memory unreliable because of exFAT, or because it is flash memory?
It's because of flash memory.
Data in flash memory cells is stored using a static charge. This is the same kind of charge that you get if you rub a balloon on a wool sweater - because of the charge the balloon will stick to a wall. But the charge dissipates over time - the balloon will eventually fall off the wall and the data in a flash memory cell will eventually "evaporate" (the balloon falls much, much faster).
While I barely used thumb drives I don't think I have even had a SD/microSD or old Sony memory stick die or get corrupted.
The reason that flash drive capacity has been going up over the years is because the individual cells have been getting smaller and the number of bits of information stored in an individual cell have been going up. Both of these "advances" mean that the data will become unreadable more quickly. Drives try to mitigate this by using error correction codes which can recover the data even if some bits go missing, but you can only go so far with that. At some point, once enough of the static charges have evaporated, the data becomes unreadable.
So those old 8MB memory sticks with one bit per cell and cells the size of acreage could retain data for decades, while today's 512GB flash chips with two or three bits per cell and cells the size of angels on the head of a pin fare much much worse. It's not because modern drives are "cheap" in the sense of not being well made. It's because poorer data retention is an inevitable tradeoff for the improved capacity and lower cost per byte.
All of this is why it's a bad idea to use flash memory as archival storage. If you do plan to retain flash memory data over a long period of time, it's important to read all of the data periodically so that the chip's controller can discover correctable errors before they become permanent ones - when it reads erroneous data that can be corrected it rewrites the data, which puts new, fresh static charges on the cells to give them a new lease on life.
Checksumming your files and then verifying the checksums every so often is the best way to do this. Not only does it read all the data, it will tell you if any of the data was unreadable (because the checksums won't match). This is important because you don't get otherwise notified of read errors from SD cards or USB thumb drives. If you know that a file has errors then you can recover a good copy of it from one of the other copies you have (because we all make copies of our important files on redundant media, right?)