The post has turned out to be quite a pun though

What I meant to ask for was a under 1000$ camera for wildlife and product shoots. And the budget includes the price for the lens too.
Hi
We were just having a bit of fun (albeit at your expense). Welcome to DPReview.
As others have pointed out, your desire to do both product shoots and wildlife puts you at the extreme far ends of the lens spectrum. If you'd said you only wanted to do family and friends, plus landscape, then you could get by quite comfortably with a Canon or Nikon DSLR and one of the shorter tele lenses (or maybe even a kit lens) available in those systems. However, the long telephoto lens will be more expensive.
I cannot offer detailed advice re. Canon or Nikon DSLRs and lenses, since I am a micro four thirds user. Within the m4/3 system, you could get the Olympus 75-300 tele zoom for $500 US, and an Olympus E-M10 for $600 US. I realize that is more than your $1000 USD budget, but again, long lenses do not come cheap. If you have access to used lenses, you could pick up the Olympus 12-42 kit lens for $100 or so USD and you'd have a setup that would do for product shots, family and friends, landscape, AND far-off wildlife.
Do keep in mind that the micro four thirds lens is equivalent to 150mm - 600mm 35mm full frame, so you would end up with a LONG lens for a reasonable price. I don't know if Canon or Nikon has an equivalent focal length at this price point or not; perhaps others can comment on that.
NOTE: I am not at all trying to dissuade you from buying a DSLR. I am just offering something for your consideration if you are amenable to other options. If you aren't, I will gracefully bow out, and leave it to the Canikon folks to advise you!
