I would sincerely like your opinions. I have been doing
photography seriously for two years only. I have this friend, an
older man. I did a portrait of he and his wife last Christmas and
GAVE it to him as a gift. Then, this spring, I did a lovely garden
portrait of his wife and GAVE it to him as a gift. He has since
asked me for copies and I GAVE him those happily. I also burned
the files onto a cd for him so that he could email them to family.
This is an unfortunate situation. At the very least, you may have simply not handled the situation as diplomatically as possible.
Also, I think you may have failed to make sure at the very beginning that you both understood what the rules were. Did you ever specify clearly what he could do with that CD?. You don't mention doing so. Did you tell him that he shouldn't edit the images? Did you qualify how the images could be used?
If I give somebody a CD of images, I either presume that they're going to do anything they please with it, or else I take steps to make sure their options are limited. For example, if I give somebody a CD so they can send images via EMAIL, or post them on a website, then I'll resize them to something small that's sufficient for those purposes, but not big enough to make a good print or do much else. For something like wedding proofs, I'll watermark everything with "Sample" or "Proof" across the image.
Today I got an email from him that he has been "playing" with the
file, putting borders on it, erasing wrinkles, etc. I emailed and
asked him very nicely would he not alter the signed file and I will
send him the raw file to use as he wishes. I explained to him that
I have to ask that because I had a bad experience before. (Someone
altered one of my pictures then put it in a brochure.) I simply
wanted him to work with the raw file. He became very upset and
said that he feels he can do whatever he wants with his own wife's
picture! And don't pull that copyright stuff on him! And,
besides, I had used his wife's pictures on my business cards! (I
had HIS verbal permission, as well as hers.)
I think you were within your rights. But judging by his reaction, I think it's likely that you may have failed to consider his emotional investment in the work he had done.
It's very likely that he spent many, many hours "playing" with the file to do those changes. More so, if he's not really an experienced image editor. From his perspective, when you asked him to use the raw file instead of the signed version, you were telling him to forget about all that work that he had already done, and to start over from scratch. Nobody is likely to react very favorably to that idea.
I'm just crushed and very angry. I sent him an email that said I
would destroy his files immediately so he would have assurance that
I will NEVER use either of their images for any reason.
It's unfortunate that you reacted while you were still angry about it. You let your emotions dictate your actions, and that's rarely a good idea.
If you had waited until you had calmed down, you realistically had three real choices here to choose from.
First, you could have tried to educate your friend about copyights and bring him around to understanding and acknowledging your wishes. You might have had some arguments, but you probably would have been able to maintain your friendship.
Or you could have made it a legal battle, or threatened to, and probably written off the friendship in the process.
Alternately, you could have just let it go. You might be in the right, but is it really worth persuing in this particular case? What are the practical considerations?
Obviously, the fact that your name was on the image was the reason you were concerned. Otherwise I presume you would not have suggested he work with the raw image file.
In particular, do you know what he had in mind to do with the altered images? Was he sending them out via EMAIL, or getting prints made, or what?
Was there something particularily bad about the image editing he was doing? Something that would be detrimental if associated with your name?
You mentioned having had some past problem with an altered image of yours being used in a brochure. Was something like that a reasonable possibility here?
I think I may have to grow thicker skin in this business?
I don't think it's a matter of "thicker skin" exactly. This isn't a matter of just not letting something bother you, it's a matter of not letting such a situation develop in the first place.
I think in this particular case, you and your friend had different ideas about what it meant that this job was done for free.
If this had been a PAYING client, I expect you would have spent time up front going over things, and probably would have had the client sign a contract that spelled out what sort of rights were being conveyed.
Such a contract would have spelled out exactly what could have been done by the images, and probably would have said something about the photographer using the images for their own promotional materials, like business cards.
Because this was a freebie, you skipped all that. I'm guessing, anyway, since you never said anything to suggest otherwise.
But even though you skipped that process, you are still trying to apply the same rules. On the other hand, your friend thought meant that "free" meant "free", with no strings attached. Why shouldn't he? Did you ever tell him otherwise before just now?
My advice is, let it go. If the friendship was really important to you, try to salvage it, if you can. And the next time you do a shoot for someone for free, just make sure that everybody knows what the rules are up front. Do the regular contract if you need to, with the appropriate changes to the dollar amounts.
Mike
))