Trimoon
Senior Member
Wow! All of a sudden I have discovered that I have friends all over the world, and not just so-so friends, but really concerned friends. This past week, my e-mail has been bulging with letters. Some of these people are so concerned that they had to write me and tell me. Several of my new friends think that a certain part of my anatomy is too small. They feel that this will damage my relationships with my wife and mistress and scar me mentally. So, they have made several suggestions to cure the problem at a minimal cost. Who am I to pass up such a bargain? My dilemma is which one should I try first? Should it be the one with the most passionate plea? Or how about the one that will save me the most money? Or should it be the one that gives me the most for my money? If I try them all, I will need a wheelbarrow to get around. I’ve asked my wife what I should do and she just went “humph” and walked away. Anyway, that’s not all that my new friends are offering help in. One is offering a huge discount on Viagra. I didn’t even know that I needed Viagra; but I got it anyway. I take one each night and it keeps me from rolling out of bed. What I want to know is how do they find out about my problems? Who’s been talking? My wife says that she certainly has not. I went over the whole house and I’ve found no cameras. The only other likely culprit would be the cat. I’ve never trusted that cat (ever since we had him neutered). It’s that look that he gives me and I think this might be his revenge. He’s telling everyone about my shortcomings. I should never have listened to my wife and gotten him that AOL account. Late at night, I’m awakened by that irritating sound from the chat rooms. You know the sound – that ding or dong sound that says you have mail.
Some of the e-mail I receive from my new friends tells me that their husband is cheating on them and they want to have an affair with me. This would be cool except for the fact that my wife has this sinister laugh each time she hears the words “John Wayne Bobbit” mentioned. I also get mail from the husbands that say my wife is cheating on me. I just write them back and say that I’m not interested. Most of the time they write back and ask how I know that I’m not interested. Have you ever?
It’s getting to the point that I’m scared to even open my e-mail. You have spyware, adware, hijackers, viruses, worms, porn, women wanting me to call them at $30 a minute, moneylenders with names like Moe, Guido, etc. and pitches for adult toys. Now, this one interested me because I have wanted an erector set since I was a child but we couldn’t afford it. When I e-mailed them inquiring about purchasing one, you would not believe what they sent back. I didn’t buy it because it involved 220 and my wife says I’m not wired for 220.
The ones that really get me are the ones that claim not to be spam. They are unsolicited. I didn’t ask for them. They think they are doing me a favor by offering me something I didn’t even know I need. Obviously, I could not survive without it and they felt it was their obligation, their duty, to inform me that I should get it. I’m sorry, but this is still spam. Anyway, enough of a rant. Goodbye for now. I have to go and check my e-mail.
Steve
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My PBase gallery
http://www.pbase.com/trimoon
Some of the e-mail I receive from my new friends tells me that their husband is cheating on them and they want to have an affair with me. This would be cool except for the fact that my wife has this sinister laugh each time she hears the words “John Wayne Bobbit” mentioned. I also get mail from the husbands that say my wife is cheating on me. I just write them back and say that I’m not interested. Most of the time they write back and ask how I know that I’m not interested. Have you ever?
It’s getting to the point that I’m scared to even open my e-mail. You have spyware, adware, hijackers, viruses, worms, porn, women wanting me to call them at $30 a minute, moneylenders with names like Moe, Guido, etc. and pitches for adult toys. Now, this one interested me because I have wanted an erector set since I was a child but we couldn’t afford it. When I e-mailed them inquiring about purchasing one, you would not believe what they sent back. I didn’t buy it because it involved 220 and my wife says I’m not wired for 220.
The ones that really get me are the ones that claim not to be spam. They are unsolicited. I didn’t ask for them. They think they are doing me a favor by offering me something I didn’t even know I need. Obviously, I could not survive without it and they felt it was their obligation, their duty, to inform me that I should get it. I’m sorry, but this is still spam. Anyway, enough of a rant. Goodbye for now. I have to go and check my e-mail.
Steve
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My PBase gallery
http://www.pbase.com/trimoon
