my first attempt at portraiture as well

abstractface · Jan 21, 2015

Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

Jim Salvas · Jan 22, 2015

I don't see your subject well in any of these. You have let the surroundings dominate, at the expense of allowing the viewer to connect with this person, who is always hidden, dominated by backlighting, or diminished by distance.

Get closer. Respect and connect with your subject.

abstractface · Jan 22, 2015

interesting perspective. Thank you

3In2Out · Jan 22, 2015

The first one I think Id like to see all of her face. Maybe head above the gate or whatever with her fingers through the lattice work? Or maybe just draped on it slightly?

Not sure about the second, but probably would like to see the aperture closed up a bit to bring her face more into focus. Just the very tip of her nose is.

Third shot seems like a cool location you could get some great shots in. I think I would have liked it framed where her head wasn't half way in the window. The "horizon" of the baseboard would help the picture a lot of it was straightened out.

Fourth, even just a tighter crop would help the picture a good bit.

I see everything was shot at f/1.2, which Im assuming you did for a reason. I personally would stop it down a bit to get more in focus as it was completely missed on the 2nd and 4th shot.

DuaneV · Jan 22, 2015

abstractface said:
Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

The fence is overpowering her. Having it RIGHT across her mouth is REALLY distracting, besides the fact that the photo as a whole is distracting from her. Had she been standing on something so she could rest her arm across the fence it would be better.

abstractface said:

This is out of focus, badly. Its front focused. Besides that, the yellow light behind her head is really distracting. REALLY distracting. There's too much dead space for me and I don't like how shes looking down at us. Shooting at eye height or slightly above is better for tighter headshots.

abstractface said:

This one makes me dizzy. The room being tilted in the background makes me feel like Im falling over. She's sitting in a chair straight no, chin tipped down, odd pose with the hands. Its not working. Again you've put something directly behind her head. Rarely does that work in portraits. You don't want it to look like something is growing out of the subjects head. She's cut off in a weird place and theres a lot of dead space.

abstractface said:

The lighting is killing this one with the super hot spots on the side & forehead. You've again left a lot of the background to be seen, but its just distracting, uninteresting and takes away from her. Youre also below her again, which doesn't work.

Shooting really nice portraits takes a LOT of practice. You wont notice things until theyre pointed out to you, and then youll still make mistakes until its second nature to NOT make mistakes, like low angles, bad lighting, things growing out of heads, etc. Keep plugging away.

dread_tai · Jan 22, 2015

I'm not a professional, but I enjoy shooting portraits, so take that into consideration when sorting my comments.

first pic: I would definitely not have composed it with the fence bar crossing thru her face, particularly thru her lovely mouth/lips. why hide her face at all? recompose her in proximity to the fence, perhaps off to her left, or rid it altogether.

second: I find the window to be more distracting as placed directly behind her, and takes the focus away from the subject, doesn't quite work for me.......have it composed to either sides of her. I would have opted for having the eyes in focus rather than the lips/tip of nose.

third: I would be not have the window placed as it is directly behind the subject, particularly with a large "line" projecting from the top of her head. I would opt for either a much closer crop and position the window off to her side, or pull further away and include all of her seated, employing rule of thirds. and of course pay attention to the horizon.

fourth: I would decrease the amount of dead space above her head, as others have said "get closer".

u're fortunate to have such a lovely person to work with, I look forward to seeing what the two of u are again able to create in the future.

freetiegui · Jan 22, 2015

I agree with what everyone has said so I would reshoot with all the comments in mind. One important thing is she's a great model with beautiful features who seems comfortable in front of the camera so just keep shooting!

Mike3456 · Jan 22, 2015

I'm no expert either, but I think others have given very sound feedback on the images you posted.

Some of the advice I've read / been given has included:

1) Look at the images others take and study the things about them that you really like / don't like. How can you incorporate those elements into your attempts?

2) There is a wealth of knowledge available online. Study!

3) Keep trying! Some times you'll find something that worked great, sometimes you'll find something that failed. Evaluate both and try to bring that experience to your next attempt. The very minute details can make or break an image.

Also, there was a session hosted by BH photography about a month ago led by Jeff Cable covering high school senior portraits. I think many of the ideas he covers carry over to what you're trying to accomplish. That might be worth a view.

Paul Jones · Jan 22, 2015

abstractface said:
Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

Hmmm, it's different...

And I think it's one of the most interesting portraits I've seen on here in a long time. I give you credit for the composition and wanting to deliberately break with the norm.

It has also served to focus attention on her beautiful eyes.

Different, daring and a hint of 'fashion' about it.

Best regards

Paul
--
Paul Jones

http://www.pauljones.org

(NSFW)

abstractface · Jan 23, 2015

Paul Jones said:
abstractface said:

Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

Click to expand...

Hmmm, it's different...

And I think it's one of the most interesting portraits I've seen on here in a long time. I give you credit for the composition and wanting to deliberately break with the norm.

It has also served to focus attention on her beautiful eyes.

Different, daring and a hint of 'fashion' about it.

Best regards

Paul
--
Paul Jones
http://www.pauljones.org
(NSFW)

Thank you very much Paul...

You got it! With the blocking of the face it generates a certain ambiguity of the person.. Even though you can look directly into her eyes. You don't know what she's thinking and you can't get a lock on because the lips are obscured!

Thank you for your encouraging words

abstractface · Jan 23, 2015

3In2Out said:
The first one I think Id like to see all of her face. Maybe head above the gate or whatever with her fingers through the lattice work? Or maybe just draped on it slightly?

Not sure about the second, but probably would like to see the aperture closed up a bit to bring her face more into focus. Just the very tip of her nose is.

Third shot seems like a cool location you could get some great shots in. I think I would have liked it framed where her head wasn't half way in the window. The "horizon" of the baseboard would help the picture a lot of it was straightened out.

Fourth, even just a tighter crop would help the picture a good bit.

I see everything was shot at f/1.2, which Im assuming you did for a reason. I personally would stop it down a bit to get more in focus as it was completely missed on the 2nd and 4th shot.

abstractface · Jan 23, 2015

DuaneV said:
abstractface said:

Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

Click to expand...

The fence is overpowering her. Having it RIGHT across her mouth is REALLY distracting, besides the fact that the photo as a whole is distracting from her. Had she been standing on something so she could rest her arm across the fence it would be better.

DuaneV said:

Click to expand...

This is out of focus, badly. Its front focused. Besides that, the yellow light behind her head is really distracting. REALLY distracting. There's too much dead space for me and I don't like how shes looking down at us. Shooting at eye height or slightly above is better for tighter headshots.

DuaneV said:

Click to expand...

This one makes me dizzy. The room being tilted in the background makes me feel like Im falling over. She's sitting in a chair straight no, chin tipped down, odd pose with the hands. Its not working. Again you've put something directly behind her head. Rarely does that work in portraits. You don't want it to look like something is growing out of the subjects head. She's cut off in a weird place and theres a lot of dead space.

DuaneV said:

Click to expand...

The lighting is killing this one with the super hot spots on the side & forehead. You've again left a lot of the background to be seen, but its just distracting, uninteresting and takes away from her. Youre also below her again, which doesn't work.

Shooting really nice portraits takes a LOT of practice. You wont notice things until theyre pointed out to you, and then youll still make mistakes until its second nature to NOT make mistakes, like low angles, bad lighting, things growing out of heads, etc. Keep plugging away.

Thank you for taking the time kind sir. I have already incorported your thoughts about the lighting and I actually didnt notice how out of focus the first shot was until you pointed it out.

Will keep working. Thanks again

abstractface · Jan 23, 2015

dread_tai said:
I'm not a professional, but I enjoy shooting portraits, so take that into consideration when sorting my comments.

first pic: I would definitely not have composed it with the fence bar crossing thru her face, particularly thru her lovely mouth/lips. why hide her face at all? recompose her in proximity to the fence, perhaps off to her left, or rid it altogether.

second: I find the window to be more distracting as placed directly behind her, and takes the focus away from the subject, doesn't quite work for me.......have it composed to either sides of her. I would have opted for having the eyes in focus rather than the lips/tip of nose.

third: I would be not have the window placed as it is directly behind the subject, particularly with a large "line" projecting from the top of her head. I would opt for either a much closer crop and position the window off to her side, or pull further away and include all of her seated, employing rule of thirds. and of course pay attention to the horizon.

fourth: I would decrease the amount of dead space above her head, as others have said "get closer".

u're fortunate to have such a lovely person to work with, I look forward to seeing what the two of u are again able to create in the future.

Either side is indeed a good idea.

Yes she is soo natural, not insecure, and even anticipates the camera. I really enjoyed working with her. May attempt some sunrise shots next week. Any tips for that composition?

Thanks again

abstractface · Jan 23, 2015

Paul Jones I viisted your site you have some great studio shots!

Paul Jones · Jan 23, 2015

abstractface said:
Paul Jones said:

abstractface said:

Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

Click to expand...

Hmmm, it's different...

And I think it's one of the most interesting portraits I've seen on here in a long time. I give you credit for the composition and wanting to deliberately break with the norm.

It has also served to focus attention on her beautiful eyes.

Different, daring and a hint of 'fashion' about it.

Best regards

Paul
--
Paul Jones
http://www.pauljones.org
(NSFW)

Click to expand...

Thank you very much Paul...

You got it! With the blocking of the face it generates a certain ambiguity of the person.. Even though you can look directly into her eyes. You don't know what she's thinking and you can't get a lock on because the lips are obscured!

Thank you for your encouraging words

PS. Don't be afraid to be different and create your own style.

It would be a boring place if every portrait followed the rules / conventions according to this forum.

Best regards

Paul
--
Paul Jones

http://www.pauljones.org

(NSFW)

Paul Jones · Jan 23, 2015

abstractface said:
Paul Jones I viisted your site you have some great studio shots!

Thank-you. Very kind.

Best regards

Paul
--
Paul Jones

http://www.pauljones.org

(NSFW)

whvick · Jan 23, 2015

Great looking model! So you have someone to continue to work with to get great shots.

Generally you want the eyes to hit where horizontal and vertical 1/3 dissecting intersect and looking out over the other 2/3.

There will be lots of teaching on this as well as other info.

I am also a big fan of fill-flash.

Study up a little and show us how it is going

regards

whvicck

Klaus dk · Jan 24, 2015

Hi abstractface

Welcome to the forums. Posting first attempts is risky, as one will always make the most apparent mistakes in the beginning. As experience grows, the more subtle mistakes are easier explained away as results of creative interpretation

Don't lose courage despite my blunt comments. I am not a native English speaker, so sometimes efficacy wins over politeness.

abstractface said:

I see the point in blocking the lower part of the face with the gate. I would however frame it much tighter, so that the ornament on top of the gate to her left and the corner of the gate to her right were both copped out, and her face filled the picture from top to bottom.

It amazes me to see how heavy the longitudinal colour abberation of this lens is. There's a strong magenta edge to the gate (front) and strong green edges to the highlights on her hair (back). Stopping down usually helps, but of course that would alter the DoF.

abstractface said:

Funny framing. If it was sharp, it could be a refreshing look at a nice model. It is a pity you used the wrong focus point. the strong backlight causes flare which causes a severe miscolouring of her forehead.

abstractface said:

Cutting at the joints almost never works. In this case the way you cut through her left knee almost causes physical pain to me.

The tilting floor could easily have been corrected in post.

The brighter circle to her left looks odd. Is it flare from the window backlight, a speck of dust lit by the on-camera flash you used for fill or what?

Could you please explain the point of this picture?

abstractface said:

IMHO there's much too much background here. Her eye-line is half-way between top and bottom, much like in the rest of the pictures. In most people pictures this will lead to rather boring pictures, and this is no exception.

Her pose and expression is a bit awkward. Since she seems quite at ease on the other pictures, I wonder what happened here?

ForrestGump · Jan 26, 2015

abstractface said:
Paul Jones said:

abstractface said:

Hi folks. I saw someone post some images of his first shots. Comments were critical. thought I would appreciate some constructive critiques as well.

here they are

Click to expand...

Hmmm, it's different...

And I think it's one of the most interesting portraits I've seen on here in a long time. I give you credit for the composition and wanting to deliberately break with the norm.

It has also served to focus attention on her beautiful eyes.

Different, daring and a hint of 'fashion' about it.

Best regards

Paul
--
Paul Jones
http://www.pauljones.org
(NSFW)

Click to expand...

Thank you very much Paul...

You got it! With the blocking of the face it generates a certain ambiguity of the person.. Even though you can look directly into her eyes. You don't know what she's thinking and you can't get a lock on because the lips are obscured!

Thank you for your encouraging words

***I add this part of my post after a second reading. I realized my words may sound harsh, but I didn't mean it at all. English isn't my first language, and even if I may know grammar and a lot of terms, I still miss those detail conveying the right mood to sentences. So please, forgive me if I sound offensive, it wasn't my intention at all. Moreover, think I'm just an enthusiast amateur, so my opinion isn't worth the time to get angry.***

Well, if it was your aim, I'm afraid you aimed too high and you missed the shot. Here in Italy, in this period, a cosmetic firm is advertising its products with a photo (very well done, indeed) of a woman hiding part of her face behind a fan. I'm sorry I don't remember firm name, so it's impossible at the moment to show you the pic.

If you hide part of the face you want the rest of it (namely: the eyes) jumping out the screen, but it doesn't happen in your pic...why?

1) Too wide crop: there's a bunch of distracting things, in your pic, that shouldn't be there. The gate is only the first of the list.

2) "Uneffective" hiding: in your composition you didn't hide part of her face, you only clipped her lower lip and chin, while neck, shoulder, necklace and so on are still visible.

3) Light: definitely too harsh for your aim. The pic I have in mind has a warmer and softer light. I'd define it more "misterious"

4) Eyes: They must be the real focus of model face, while in your pics she took care of her eyes no more than any other element. Smokey eyes (tutorial on the web) takes less than 10 minutes and no make up artist

Have a nice day,

L.

--
Take a look to my gallery! http://www.dpreview.com/galleries/8514753894 I'm sure you'll find something to teach me!

Easy Rider · Jan 27, 2015

She has a light growing out of her head in one shot and a gate over her lips in another.

You could do with reading up about 'mergers' and how to avoid them and making sure your background works as well as your foreground before shooting, background if it doesn't work will often ruin subject and I personally give up on a shot if the background is ruining it and shallow DOF, shooting from different angle doesn't help with the matter.

I mostly do street, so not much control over these issues, hence sometimes I have to just not take the shot. With portraiture you have all the control, so much easier. Focus on the nearest eye or between the eyes using single point.

Keep at it!

my first attempt at portraiture as well

Active member

Veteran Member

Active member

Well-known member

Senior Member

Forum Enthusiast

Senior Member

Well-known member

Senior Member

Active member

Active member

Active member

Active member

Active member

Senior Member

Senior Member

Veteran Member

Forum Pro

Leading Member

Veteran Member

Keyboard shortcuts