Critiques Required

I couldn't think of what better I could have done to improve the composition in theis image. Any ideas?

Maze1 said:

I couldn't think of what better I could have done to improve the
composition in theis image. Any ideas?

Click to expand...

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Tough to say without seeing more of the whole scene, but here are my thoughts.

The foreground doesn't do a whole lot for me. In fact, it distracts from what I believe to be the "subject" of your scene (the building and the sky above it). I did a test crop on your photo by chopping off the bottom so that the water takes up the bottom 1/4 of the frame (no grass or sidewalk remain). Already I think it starts to look a little better.

I think that top part sticking out of the building on the right side is a little distracting too, so I'd crop that right edge off.

I'd clone out the crane sticking out the top of the building.

If the opposite shoreline is to represent a "horizon" line, then I think the picture needs to be rotated slightly counter-clockwise... very slightly.

Some of the items off to the left tend to draw my attention away from the subject... such as the dark trees way to the left. I even felt the black windows on the white building had enough darkness to pull my eyes toward them, so I would crop the left side off just to the right of the black windows on the white building. After doing that, I think you have a nice peak that is formed by the right and left edges being lower (and less distracting) than the big building and the awesome sky above it.

The cars are an unfortunate addition to the picture too in my opinion, but you can't necessarily do too much about that.

It's a nice picture, so please don't take my comments the wrong way. I personally would try to frame it a little tighter. I've suggested a lot of crops, which might not leave you with much resolution... so if you could re-shoot this, I would suggest walking right up to the edge of the water, then zooming in a little tighter.

I'm very ameteur, so don't necessarily take my word for it... that's just what I think and see. Try the suggested crops and see if you can see what I mean.

Send me the jpeg file, and I'll show you what can be done. My address is in my profile.

My websites:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ubereye/

http://ubereye.deviantart.com/

http://newyorkleftist.blogspot.com/

you could make the picture more interesting by cropping out the unnecessary stuff from it. the top and bottom thirds are useless and have nothing interesting in them. you could even make a separate picture just out of the clouds.

the composition is basically boring. what are we supposed to see? a building? the trees? your composition is angled wide which is not good since the scene is boring. use a telephoto and zoom in on the building, or on the treetops, or on the water, something.

remember the rule of 1/3rds, or all the other rules about subject placement and composition i.e. use converging lines to draw interest to a subject, place interesting subjects into a snail type shape around the frame, etc..

lastly the color is flat and needs a big boost in saturation, vibrance and contrast.

hope this helps!

I agree that colours and contrast need some improvement. I also agree that the composition is a bit dull, but that because of the centered shoreline.

I'm sorry to disagree about the trees, road, other buildings, crane etc. but I think they are parts of the scenery, elements of a story, a pretty interesting one. If you renounce to these, than you get the picture of a dusty building, and that's all.

I like pictures with many apparently distinct elements, so I wouldn't crop it down. As I already mentioned, maybe a little more sky would fix the centered composition, or a vertical framing.
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andrei jipa

Your comments were really helpful. I see your point about the horizon being in the middle and boring subjects around the perimeter. I'm wondering what the idea of using interesting subjects in a snail pattern around the edge was. I've never heard of that before. Great feedback thanks.

Huh

I googled snail composition and it actually came back with the chemical composition of snail gelatin. lol
and ewww!

You are missing middle. You have near and far covered, but middle is just a swath of blue water. Just need something in the water (boater perhaps).

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If you have a moment, check out my site:
http://zotsandboo.com

Looks too dark.

Morris
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http://qcpages.qc.cuny.edu/~morris/POD

Keep the sky...best part of the photo and use it again when you can.
get rid of the construction crane on top of the roof.
get rid of the foreground... go right up to the waters edge on the right,
now you have a good W/A shot
or go back and reshoot it, if you can.

What ever you do, have fun.

I'm just not sure what the subject is. Is the building in the background hidden behind those trees? Is it the sidewalk in the foreground with nothing really interesting there? Or is it the pond/lake caught in the middle of the foreground and background.

Something needs to jump out here.
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Ron

1: More Contrast
2: Clone the crane out

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3: Add a "Loving" couple standing at the Corner of the sidewalk, looking away accros the lake
***
4: crop out any extra below the couple
5: Retake at dusk when the light is warmer and more romantic
6: Try punching up the saturation a bit.

Hope this adds to the many ideas already listed
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...............................(1936 Contax III with Collapsible 50mm f/2 ZJ Sonnar)...............................

Arbib

foreground is of no interest - more sky would have been great
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Phil M. - Toronto, Canada
Please view my photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/12624630@N02/

Maze1 said:

Huh
I googled snail composition and it actually came back with the
chemical composition of snail gelatin. lol
and ewww!

Click to expand...

Not quite, here you go. Look at the bottom of the page.

http://photoinf.com/Golden_Mean/Eugene_Ilchenko/GoldenSection.html

This tool is especially useful
http://photoinf.com/Golden_Mean/photo-adjuster.html

Maybe this little adjustment will make a bit more interesting.
Teri





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http://www.pbase.com/terif

Maze1 said:

I couldn't think of what better I could have done to improve the
composition in theis image. Any ideas?

Click to expand...

From beginner to beginner Maze1, can not add more to the thread. You have already a very rich panorama of the basics in photography. Congratulations and success.

Eduardo