Gregg:
This post is not meant in any way to be argumentative, and certainly not meant to garner sympathy or to say "woes me". I'm not completely happy with the way my life has been but I'm doing quite well in spite of it, and am basically a very happy person.
I won't go into detailed reasons why, but my family background and experience with loss of family and friends is quite extensive.
So I am in the same boat with you. I have not only seen some of my friends die, a few right in front of me, but I have lost my family as well. From as far back as I remember, I never had a family, my mom raised me alone, my dad died when I was 2, and the rest never were there.....and the ones who were, few that they were, have all passed on, and I'm only 34!!
So death and loss is no stranger to me. And it was a life too that I would'nt wish on an enemy.
But I don't use it as an excuse to feel like I need to be treated any differently for it. As screwed up as my life has been in the past, and as lonely painful and lossful as it was, it could have been much worse. The pain of losing friends and family one at a time, and never knowing what a real family even is, never goes away, but it becomes numbed with time.
Recently, I've been contacted by a long lost first cousin who was very familiar with my father's side of the family whom I have never met. He found me through an internet search while trying to look up his son's new phone number. Anyway, he has since sent me pictures of my grandfather, grandmother, and other long unknown close relatives (mostly all passed), faces that I have never seen before. My point is, if it was'nt for the internet, I'd still, and probably never would have seen those faces, or even knew they're names.
So, my point again, is that I am intimately aware of how the internet, and other forms of interaction and communication can change your outlook on life and make you again feel like you are part of a whole again. And when people here refer to this forum as a gathering of friends, and even a sort of "family", I am painfully aware of how special and wonderful that is. And even more so, aware of why alot here are reluctant to lose that, and view any percieved outside negativity as a threat to it.
But what has happened here is by no means even closely resembling what you and I have been through. It has been a resistance to new voices in the crowd, a reluctance to allow an opposing view. Not to say those views needed to be obeyed, just listened to and given it's short time in the light of positive consideration, and then if needed left unheeded. But what's happened here instead is alot of resentment, bickering and hatefulness taking place, and instead of a solidarity and cameraderie between the participants, instead what we see is people claiming to leave, and giving up in a most undermining tone to the forum.
As perhaps a result of my history of loss and being alone, and perhaps even as a defense mechanism against it, I have developed a tendency for independence, individualism and an open disregard for what I consider "cliques". I don't like exclusive clubs, where one needs to join the ranks and be accepted by the "good old boy" crowd before one can participate in any way. I'm not saying by any means that's what has transpired here in any way, but with the current state of upheaval and the unabashed show of resentments and anger towards new voices, no matter how unfounded those new voices may have been or not, it is showing a definite attitude of exclusivity, as though new voices cannot be heard, considered, or dealt with at all because they did not "belong". Well, I'm also familiar with that sort of treatment as well, because I never "belonged" to anything my whole life, and do not now feel like I need to either.
So there's my view on it. I can see BOTH sides of the fence, and reasons why both sides feel slighted and hurt in this. But I don't see balance, reason and intelligent consideration on either side. Instead what I see is anger and negativity on both sides, to the detriment of the forum at large. How very unfortunate and sad.
D.
Hi Bob,
I could write a book on my life and it would basically read that
wherever I go, the party had just ended. I feel like the grim
reaper. My friends are almost all dead. I won't even go into it.
I've lived a life I wouldn't wish on an enemy. But, like my life
(is this sappy or what?), somehow when it looked like I was doomed
to live in a place I absolutely hated, a ray of light from nowhere
came down and gave me what I wanted.
Ok, that didn't work. Fear. We were sharing and enjoying ourselves.
Now we are affraid that we have people in pain and the fun will
end. Vance had had a close friend die. It's public, as he posted it
on another forum. Still.... Hmmm.
I noticed last night that VJsilva is from south Korea. So for
starters we're a diverse group. (Hey, where's DF in all of this?)
My advice is to be patient and see who comes back. This is the best
place on the net. And my mouse will probably come back here after
I'm not breathing anymore. So just wait and see. I always forgive.
Hey, Vance's statements could have been made by anyone. I welcome
anyone back as long as they are an addition to the whole project.
What are we affraid of?
Respectfully,
Gregg
PS We will all get along. Now if we can just get the Palistinians
and Jews to follow our example.
)))