**5/31/2020-6/07/2020 Weekly Show, Tell, and Critique***

Started 2 months ago | Photos thread
Birddogman Veteran Member • Posts: 6,196
Raccoon First Alert System

I've never been a serious bird feeder person. Nancy has been a bird fanatic her whole life. She's been getting me into this since we've been together and there are now many bird feeders around the property. Hwvlover's superb bird images have helped hook me, also - to the point that I bought a long lens for my ILC in the hope of one day becoming half as good as he is in bird photography.

Here are a few attempts from yesterday (David, please do not look, as they are horrible compared to yours). Goldfinch:

Downy woodpecker (we have lots of woodpeckers of various types):

Don't know who this cute little guy is:

Then, there are the Birdians to watch - babies on the way, I think.

Living in the backwoods, the feeders attract all sort of varmints, too. Most, like squirrels, will just eat the food and not cause any major problems - we can deal with that. But, the feeders also attract raccoons. A raccoon will destroy the feeders or just carry them off in the woods never to be seen again. They will also get into fights with the dogs - a 40 pound wild raccoon vs. a 30 pound beloved dog is not a good thing to say the least.  Rabies is not uncommon in raccoons around here either.

So, I declared war on the raccoons a few months ago. Score was raccoons - 50; Greg - 0. Plus, I was losing a lot of sleep trying to ambush the buggers. Complete fail.

Then, I realized that a crew of backwoods raccoons were outsmarting a 74 year old man with two post-doctorate degrees on a nightly basis and decided to apply my brain. Thus the Raccoon First Alert System (often called the RFA System by our franchisees) was born.

This stable genius design involves a patented green string tied on to the feeder that they most like to destroy; and run about 30 yards up to the back bedroom window. The end of the string is tied to a dog collar bell that is hung from the window frame. When a raccoon attacks the feeder, the bell crashes to the floor awakening the officially designated RFA System Shooter and the officially designated RFA System Flashlight Operator. This is a view out the bedroom window:

Another key element of this stable genius design is that the back window is carefully lubricated with official RFA System approved Lubricant, so it can be opened in utter silence. Plus the screen is removed. The Flashlight Operator is equipped with a very bright RFA System approved flashlight to shine out another window.

When the RFA System bell rings, usually around 3 or 4 AM, we instantly explode (well, slowly stumble) into action. The Shooter quietly greazzzes the window open as the Flashlight Operator silently takes her station at another window.

In its early trial stages, the RFA System stable genius designers considered using Claymores to eliminate the marauding raccoons, but decided the noise, even way out in the sticks, might be annoying, plus they might knock down whole sections of the forest, and could harm deer, turkey and others. So, after careful research, the RFA System uses a suppressed .300 Blackout take out the destructive raccoon.

There are still a few choice franchise locations available for the Raccoon First Alert System. Just PM me and I will send you the address where you can send your (large) checks and money orders to become an RFA System franchisee.

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