Thank you everyone for your comments. I guess I'm looking for something that doesn't exist.
But maybe someday. I thing there is definitely a market for it.
I'm not so much worried about audible noise from a usm lens, but rather want to avoid the jerky focus transitions when it races to focus on new focus points (as opposed to smooth focus transitions from stm or the nano usm).
Unfortunately all of the existing L class lenses will do this. Anytime the focal point changes or you pull focus it will be abrupt, jarring and unpleasant in video footage.
So I'd love the sharpness and bokeh of an L lens, but want to avoid the ultra fast focus transitions if using it for video.
The Canon EF-S 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS USM is somewhere in between other EF-S lenses and an L lens. The AF is lightening fast - as fast as all of my L's (which is everything else). And yet when shooting video, the focus transitions are as good as a great camcorder.
The construction is also solid. The IQ of the lens falls short of L class lenses for stills, but for video it is excellent (you cannot shoot at a high enough resolution to make it matter).
I guess the compromise is going for the kit lens and supplementing it with fast sharp primes like the 24 1.8 and 50 1.8 when I need low light of shallow dof.
This is the main drawback of this lens. The slow f/3.5 aperture is frustrating for video, but especially for stills. And that it is variable through the focal length means that if you start with a faster Av than f/5.6, you can have exposure changes in the footage while racking the zoom (you can compensate for this with auto iso).
Personally, I would have wanted Canon to make this lens an L class EF mount (I'm sure 5DIV users would be interested) with an aperture of f/2.0 or at least f/2.8 rather than producing a replacement for the exact same STM lens (EF-S 18-135mm f/3.5-5.6 IS STM).
How cool would it be if they updated the EF 24-70 f/2.8L II USM with an nano motor and IS?