portrait with XA1 35/1.4

Take this with a pinch of salt as it is only the way I see it, i.e. just an opinion.

I think you have caught the expression well and assume this conveys something of what you know of his character and personality.

I think the main issue to address would be that of distractions.  You have mentioned the TV screen, which is one.  It looks like a sporting event and started me wondering whether it was the champions league final, the FA cup final, cricket, maybe the american form of rounders or what... which distracts from the face.  However you are aware of that and it maybe suggests something of a surrounding he enjoys which adds to the information we learn about him.

The other thing that my eye is drawn to is the triangle formed by a bit of his hand at the bottom.  After faces we are drawn to hands and triangles also catch our attention.  And then you notice the pen which has you wondering if it is a cheap ballpoint or some unfamiliar brand.

As these are all at the edge of the frame they tend to hold our attention longer.  This is probably not where you want us to be concentrating.  So in most cases, unless they clearly contribute something to the message you want to convey it's probably best to see if you can avoid triangles at the edge of the frame.  That's difficult, I know from my own experience as I still struggle to put it into practice in the heat of the moment.  In this case a simple crop above the pen would help concentrate our attention on the face more, probably without losing the overall sense of his pose.  That doesn't always work but probably would here.

Anyway just my thoughts as I say.