K/R, the Df and a lump of dog p**p!

Started Nov 6, 2013 | Discussions thread
Leif Goodwin Senior Member • Posts: 1,390
Re: FACTS About Ken Rockwell..........

SushiEater wrote:

  • Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
  • Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.
  • Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.
  • Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.
  • Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth
  • Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.
  • Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.
  • When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories
  • Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker
  • Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born
  • Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once
  • Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.
  • Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius
  • Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.
  • Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you
  • Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure
  • Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.
  • When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.
  • Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes
  • On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine
  • Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"
  • When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos
  • For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.
  • Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.
  • Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF
  • Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.
  • The term tripod was coined after his silhouette
  • Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer
  • A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell
  • Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.
  • Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues
  • He bought Porsche Cayenne Turbo S for $120K yet he worries about few extra $ on detailing.

When he whose name should not be mentioned is mentioned, a version of the above is posted, regular as clockwork. It was not funny the first time, it's not funny the 100'th time, I guess it must be American humour, or should that be 'yumah' ?

I wish people would not discuss you know who. If you like his site, fine, enjoy. If you don't, fine. But please don't advertise it, or trash it.

Or, in short: "No, ee ain't worf it".

-- hide signature --

______________________________
Warning: this forum may contain nuts.
www.leifgoodwin.co.uk

 Leif Goodwin's gear list:Leif Goodwin's gear list
Nikon D200 Nikon D600 Nikon AF-S Nikkor 300mm f/4D ED-IF Nikon AF-S Micro-Nikkor 60mm F2.8G ED Nikon AF Micro-Nikkor 60mm f/2.8D +4 more
Post (hide subjects) Posted by
(unknown member)
(unknown member)
Keyboard shortcuts:
FForum PPrevious NNext WNext unread UUpvote SSubscribe RReply QQuote BBookmark MMy threads
Color scheme? Blue / Yellow