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Roger Cicala cynically re-defines photography

By dpreview staff on Nov 25, 2013 at 21:10 GMT

Lensrentals' Roger Cicala continues his recent run of fine satirical form with his latest blog post - a series of cynical definitions for widely-used photography terms. We're almost tempted to use it to replace our glossary, as it should be considered recommended reading before commenting on any photography or 'gear' forum. It's certainly going to make us think carefully about the terminology we use in future reviews.

And let us know any you think he's missed.

Lensrentals' Roger Cicala has been channeling his inner 19th century satirist.

Comments

Total comments: 54
sidneysilva
By sidneysilva (5 months ago)

With thit hat, he's really a gear, very good..

Comment edited 2 times, last edit 3 minutes after posting
0 upvotes
BelePhotography
By BelePhotography (5 months ago)

nice gearhead :)

1 upvote
Johannes Zander
By Johannes Zander (5 months ago)

Where can I buy that hat?

0 upvotes
Richard
By Richard (5 months ago)

Not funny. Did not even bring a smile to my face, just as iI started to fall asleep I thought to myself, "can I get these few minutes of my life back?" It was not all bad though, it put me into a wonderful deep sleep. A word to the wise, don't give up your day job.

Comment edited 3 minutes after posting
2 upvotes
Ed_arizona
By Ed_arizona (5 months ago)

Meh, thinks he is funny, not really

2 upvotes
Clyde Thomas
By Clyde Thomas (5 months ago)

Why "cynic" rather than "sarcastic"?

cynic
1.a person who believes that people are motivated purely by self-interest rather than acting for honorable or unselfish reasons.

"some cynics thought that the controversy was all a publicity stunt"

Oh well there you have it. Nicely done Roger!

3 upvotes
stevens37y
By stevens37y (5 months ago)

dpreview.com member.

Someone obsessed with photographic equipment but with little or no interest in the art of photography.

3 upvotes
Lan
By Lan (5 months ago)

Is that why you're here?

Sorry, too easy.

4 upvotes
Dimitris Servis
By Dimitris Servis (5 months ago)

"channeling his inner 19th century satirist"? Looks Dada to me....

0 upvotes
nevada5
By nevada5 (5 months ago)

Freaking hilarious!

3 upvotes
Artpt
By Artpt (5 months ago)

Comments section:

A magical forum where the id and the ego prolaim superiority despite futile attempts by shame and disctetion.

0 upvotes
M Lammerse
By M Lammerse (5 months ago)

That is what we call surrogate nerds overhere

0 upvotes
KitHB
By KitHB (5 months ago)

Resolving Power:
Your ability to coerce the Professional Service division of your chosen camera/lens supplier to repair or replace your favorite sensor and lens combination and then explain exactly what they've done when they get around to returning it to you.
Theoretically constrained by the NightFedEx Limit, but in real world use, this level is rarely achieved.

0 upvotes
CameraLabTester
By CameraLabTester (5 months ago)

Roger Cicala has "outed" a camera company in the definition of SILENCE.

Now who could that cheeky bugger be?

.

1 upvote
cgarrard
By cgarrard (5 months ago)

I'd say it with a sneeze if I could type that, but most know who they are :)

0 upvotes
kitsios_spyros
By kitsios_spyros (5 months ago)

"Vignette — A technique used by lens designers to make the image very dark in the places where the lens is very bad, based on the principle that if things are dark enough you won’t notice how bad they are."
:) )))))))))))

1 upvote
spidermoon
By spidermoon (5 months ago)

With thit hat, he's really a gear head :)

1 upvote
SeeRoy
By SeeRoy (5 months ago)

He missed "Draw" (verb).
Generally imperceptible quality of a (German) lens perceived exclusively by other owners (or aspirant owners) of the same brand.

1 upvote
Infared
By Infared (5 months ago)

Base on his portrait, I think Roger my have a part in the next "Lord of the.Rings" movie.

0 upvotes
Hugo808
By Hugo808 (5 months ago)

"Render" - LOL

"Depth of Field" you got that right.....

1 upvote
peevee1
By peevee1 (5 months ago)

Nice. ;-)

"Silence – The response of many wives and at least one camera company when an obvious problem arises."

marike6, which company do you think Cicala means?

0 upvotes
zevobh
By zevobh (5 months ago)

nikon. definitely nikon.

d600 to d610, and SB 900 to SB 910, the patter in obvious.

Comment edited 12 seconds after posting
4 upvotes
cgarrard
By cgarrard (5 months ago)

Camera Reviewer- Mostly, it's someone who wants an excuse to play with a lot of camera equipment without having to buy it themselves.

6 upvotes
timo
By timo (5 months ago)

'Optically perfect' - Cosmetically a mess.
'No fungus' - The light is not very good in here.
'Innovative' - Iffy, it may work.
'Legacy' (adj.) - Old.
'Review' - Press release or paraphrase thereof, supplemented by a few shots by the intern. [With a few honourable exceptions. Ahem, ahem.]
Comparison - Shots by various cameras with cheap kit lenses at sub-optimal settings put side by side.

Comment edited 3 minutes after posting
2 upvotes
Najinsky
By Najinsky (5 months ago)

He missed: Fujian

Fujian - One who promotes mythical juxtapositions of intent and implementation.

Examples:

It can't AF : It's for expert photographers only
It's slow to MF : It's for contemplative photographers only
It can't render fine detail : Those details weren't meant to be seen
AF fix held back two years to promote new model sales : Great customer service
Defective aperture blades : Great customer service

(Examples sourced courtesy of DPR's Fujifilm X System forum)

2 upvotes
Stealthy Ninja
By Stealthy Ninja (5 months ago)

Well to be fair Fuji have released a LOT of firmware updates with actual new features added. Canon and Nikon rarely do that.

3 upvotes
Infared
By Infared (5 months ago)

Ninja...to be fair, if Fuji had released a decent, current camera to begin with there would be no need for all the partially in effective firmware updates, right?

1 upvote
WT21
By WT21 (5 months ago)

Love it! Love "vignette" especially, lol.

Comment edited 2 minutes after posting
2 upvotes
WT21
By WT21 (5 months ago)

I love lensrentals an roger's blog, but he got bokeh wrong. Bokeh is

"the quantitative measure of depth of field. Objectively, more bokeh is better than less. Lens makers have at last understood what photography experts on internet boards have been telling them, with lenses whose bokeh now goes up to 11. Any lens that cannot go to 11 bokeh is an inferior lens.

Bokeh is impacted by sensor size. m43 sensors, for instance, only have 1/2 the bokeh of full frame sensors."

Comment edited 2 times, last edit 7 minutes after posting
3 upvotes
zevobh
By zevobh (5 months ago)

generally, I think a lower number is better for bokeh.

1 upvote
Daniel Lauring
By Daniel Lauring (5 months ago)

Seem to be mixing up bokeh with depth of field. bokeh is qualitative, which is why it is such a hard thing to judge.

0 upvotes
WT21
By WT21 (5 months ago)

@Daniel -- was the sarcasm missed?

2 upvotes
Wildbegonia
By Wildbegonia (5 months ago)

Noise. The cry sound a photograph emits after being post-processed. Not really, It should had been called grain or at its worst 'dust'. This one always gets me.

Comment edited 2 minutes after posting
1 upvote
BJL
By BJL (5 months ago)

He overlooked the classic
"Circle of Confusion: a bunch of photographers sitting around a table arguing about depth of field".

23 upvotes
RPJG
By RPJG (5 months ago)

"...arguing about equivalence".

9 upvotes
AlexBakerPhotoz
By AlexBakerPhotoz (5 months ago)

Excellent!

1 upvote
BBking83
By BBking83 (5 months ago)

Does Dan Marchant go to DPR? http://danmarchant.com/

He doesn't quite seem to get it...

[Dan said:

“Aperture – The opening of a lens, identified by a number that gets larger as it gets smaller.”
{Sigh} Your mathematics teacher must be hanging their head in shame that you failed to grasp the basic fact that f/2.8 is a larger number than f/8 etc and that the aperture number therefore gets larger as the aperture gets larger. No wonder so many newbies get confused when people perpetuate this simple mistake.]

'Dan - A Canikon shooter'

1 upvote
ProfHankD
By ProfHankD (5 months ago)

You're literally right in that f/number can be taken as "focal length divided by number" ... but the number part does get larger as the aperture gets smaller. How disturbingly often have I seen things like "F8" when it should have been "f/8" with "f" in script/italic?

0 upvotes
Devendra
By Devendra (5 months ago)

boring.. we have seen that shot with Sigma 300-800mm hood and cover.

1 upvote
doughty
By doughty (5 months ago)

'Exposure: Something people die of.'

(from the brilliant JunkStoreCameras website)

3 upvotes
inframan
By inframan (5 months ago)

Street Photography: The representation of anyone, awake or asleep, alive or dead, caught unawares in an urban outdoor setting.

11 upvotes
Daniel Lauring
By Daniel Lauring (5 months ago)

or, photographs taken from the hip, of anybody outside, with no thought to composition, or focus.

0 upvotes
D1N0
By D1N0 (5 months ago)

LOL

1 upvote
harold1968
By harold1968 (5 months ago)

"Sharpness – The amount of fine detail visible in an image before it is compressed to 1/10th its original size to post online" - Classic

11 upvotes
Beat Traveller
By Beat Traveller (5 months ago)

Soft: A term used to describe any lens incapable of rendering the hairs on an aphid's bum after a 100% crop.

3 upvotes
AbrasiveReducer
By AbrasiveReducer (5 months ago)

I hope Roger will do a dictionary of cliches as well, starting with "built like a tank". Is there any photo equipment that isn't built like a tank? Didn't think so.

0 upvotes
chlamchowder
By chlamchowder (5 months ago)

I don't think there is any photo equipment that is built like a tank (or exceptionally durable).
Anything made entirely out of plastic is not built like a tank because holding it won't give you frostbite when it's below freezing outside.
Anything with metal is not built like a tank because it doesn't bounce when dropped (and dents are bad).

0 upvotes
LKJ
By LKJ (5 months ago)

One that really gets me, although it's not exclusively photography related – but which appears quite often on these gear-oriented forums – is "pull the trigger on" in the context of purchasing something. Ugh.

Is it really too difficult to say "buy"?

1 upvote
Andy Crowe
By Andy Crowe (5 months ago)

Anything with metal is not built like a tank because it can't withstand a direct hit from a high-explosive artillery shell ;)

1 upvote
timo
By timo (5 months ago)

To which add 'bullet-proof'.

0 upvotes
LKJ
By LKJ (5 months ago)

I've got a water tank that's made of plastic.

0 upvotes
Wally Brooks
By Wally Brooks (5 months ago)

Are we talking 35Mm, 120Mm, or 4x5 tanks? Plastic or Stainless?

0 upvotes
SLove
By SLove (5 months ago)

It should be: "Built like an Armored Fighting Vehicle with heavy armor protection and big main gun, i.e. tank" And no, I don't think there are such cameras, unless you count the thermal cameras and image intensifiers on the actual "tanks" (see above) of modern variety...

0 upvotes
ProfHankD
By ProfHankD (5 months ago)

I don't have any camera equipment built like a tank, but I have some Soviet lenses that apparently used the same lubricant for both tanks and lens focus helicals. ;-)

0 upvotes
Total comments: 54