My new D800 has Left/Right AF issues too :(

Yes, it's true many of the AF threads are questionable but like this and a lot of other threads you have to look past that and the complaining.  I have the same feeling when I see one of these threads but I often read them and learn quite a bit from experienced photographers (Robin, TOF guy, et.al.) who are patient and take the time to post.  It's like a newspaper - you don't read it cover to cover but pick out the good stuff. 

-David