Being coerced to shoot a wedding. I need HELP! Please chime in.

William Porter wrote:

Zach,

Step out of yourself for a minute and reread what you said above, out loud. I think you've answered your own question. The situation is absurd — no win for you either way. But the situation is optional: you don't have to put yourself in that situation. If your choice is between A and B, where B is easy and painless and predictable, while A is unpredictable except that you're guaranteed a lot of pain no matter what, why on earth would a sane person pick A? They wouldn't.

Going a little further, my suggestion is: just say no.

But if you don't say no, at least do it for free. And starting right now, start working your tail off to prepare. What makes a good wedding photographer isn't the time spent after the wedding in post, it's the time spent before the wedding — usually, in experience, but preparation and planning are important supplements to experience.

Read a couple books on wedding photography. Visit wedding photographers' web sites to get ideas. Research the ceremony. Ge the schedule of events, know what happens when and what equipment you'll need at that moment. Get a list of the relatives and plan how you'll do the group formals. Get friends and practice shooting group formals. Start practicing with flash constantly. Negotiate with the bride in advance about what you're going to deliver and when. Memorialize your agreement in writing. Be sure you attend the rehearsal.

•

Now let me try a little harder to discourage you. You yourself say "I have no clue what I'm doing." That ought to be a conversation-ender right there, if you actually meant it.

Of course, you probably don't actually mean it. You might think you can do it. And in fact you can, if by "do it," we don't mean "do it with confidence". You can show up and take photos. Some of the photos might even be okay. But you can't "do it with confidence," because you've never done it before and you don't know what you don't know.
(I will say, as an aside, that of the first half dozen weddings I shot, I got the best results in the very first one. There were many reasons for this. Beginner's luck wasn't one of them, except in the sense that I ran into more problems in later weddings than I had in that first one.)
 would you do this? You could probably also cater the reception, if you had to. Maybe you're a really good cook. But why would you agree to? Only two answers make any sense. You could do it because, if you don't, nobody else will, because the bride is dead broke and doesn't know anybody else who she can ask such a big favor of it. Or you want to become a wedding photographer (or a caterer). Either way, you do it for free. And either way, you have to be just a little bit out of your mind. whyBut
•
charge them.don't  expect something of you. And working under pressure — with potentially dozens of people to manage — is harder than anything you've ever done before with a camera. If you charge them, they have a right to expect a fair bit and the pressure will be greater. But they're going to expect a fair bit even if you doShooting a wedding is harder than you think, and the part that really surprises newbies is, the things that make it difficult have very little to do with photography. It's easy to go to an event and take a few good photos when nobody expects anything of you. But when you're The Photographer, they
What sort of people do we shoot weddings for, for free? Relatives are best. They're the least likely to sue you or never talk to you again.
This is a really hard lesson to learn, and anybody who imagines they want to shoot weddings needs to learn it earlier rather than later. YOUR TIME IS WORTHLESS, at least to others.photos.By the way, NOBODY CARES how much time it's going to take you to do this. The bride doesn't want somebody's time, she wants •

You're NOT being "coerced" into anything. You're a big boy. You can say no. If you don't say no, you'd darned well better step up to the plate and take this task to heart.

Good luck!
Will