D800 handheld hype nonesense - model shot handheld with 200/f2 at 1/30

Something that I don't have to make artificial because I've seen it all and a valley is a valley is a valley, just like a model is just another model. Instead, every single valley, mountain, stream, waterfall, field of flowers, sunset, or anything else I encounter is different to me every single step I take. The *REAL* landscape is the one I don't have to shoot through spit, venetian blinds, haze, and vignetting because I'm bored.

When I'm outside shooting, *THAT* is when I feel truly alive!
If the human body bores you so much that you have to fill in the blanks with weird poses and a bunch of artsy-fartsy nonsense, then maybe it's time to move on.

I mean why even spend $3000 on a camera body and whatever you've spent on lenses if you're just going to clutter up the frame with effects like spit and haze and all that nonsense. Just make a pinhole camera out of a cardboard box and it would have an artistic effect, and at least you didn't shell out good money for something you don't even really use.
I mean, there's spit in front of the lens, it's through venetian blinds, it's hazy, and there's vignetting but only on one side??? No one could tell the difference between these shots done with a D800 and the same exact shots done with someone's old D40. I mean, what exactly do you think you are using from the D800 that you need the D800? You're cluttering the frame with all kinds of effects, it's blurry because of spit and haze, you already said you don't use 36MP of resolution, I mean WHY even have that camera? Just because?
Next you'll be spraying your prints with Pam cooking spray because it makes it look glossy and splashy (whatever splashy means). You know, I was just given a job by someone to clean up a poor modeling shoot. I would've turned it down if it was this guy's work. It was still bad, but it could be rescued. I don't think I could rescue a useable picture from the destruction you've wrought.

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There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.