the 45mm doesn't provide shallow enough DoF... [image + shooting notes]

Good picture, and some comments.

In the old days I used to use 100mm/2.8 lens for half body portraits. That translates to 50mm/1.4 for m4/3. The closest lens I tried was old G.Zuiko 40mm/1.4, which IMHO blurs background better and produces more mellow bokeh. Highly recommend it.

Regarding lighting, I found a gentle 3 shot +/-1 stop exposure fusion to have a similar effect as a fill flash, and it's greatly simplifies the setting.