I Will Celebrate the Day When...

Started Nov 2, 2012 | Discussions thread
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I Will Celebrate the Day When...
Nov 2, 2012

I will celebrate the day when any camera manufacturer makes a camera that causes all the trolls to shut-up, leave the forums and go and take pictures.

I suppose the camera will have to be both big and small, be light weight but well built.

It'll be FF and crop frame, mirrored and mirrorless.

It will have to have many AF points and a tiny spot point.

It should AF instantly with zero lag and the AF tracking should be good enough to track individual atoms.

It will need so much dynamic range that you can under or over expose by 20 stops and still have a noise free image.

The sensor should be bayer interpolated and Fovean at the same time and the AA filter should be an option you turn on or off in the menu... no wait no menus it's all got to be buttons but it can't have button clutter.

The camera won't have an articulating screen but it will have a completely removable screen. the screen will have the resolution of the sensor, something like 100mp but the pixels can't be too small and the sensor can't be too big.

the camera must be as small as a little P&S but with a 6" screen, the lenses must be tiny but have the ability to have amazing reach and shallow DOF, all lenses for the system must be F1.0 or brighter. Also the mount should allow for all lenses from all camera systems to mount and have full functionality but with no adapters.

The camera must have no flaws, and should be unbreakable even if dropped off a cliff. The weather sealing needs to be perfect so that if you have to recover your camera from the bottom of the ocean it'll still work perfectly. The camera must have no moving parts that can break or electronic parts that can malfunction.

The camera must be able to take all photos for you and make you look like the best photographer in the world but it has to do this without you knowing that its not your talent but the cameras talent that makes you look good. the camera should be able to read your mind so that you don't have to change any setting, it just does it for you.

The camera has to be so good that it brainwashes all trolls to take pictures instead of posting on any photography forums.

The camera will have fluidly variable ergonomics that actively mold to your hands

And above all else this camera should turn all fanboys into trolls and all trolls into fanboys

Feel free to add whatever other features you think are needed to make the perfect camera for trolls And maybe if we pray such a camera will be made then all the sane people here can celebrate. However i don't know what half of us would do for fun if trolling ceased to exist. and if this camera ever did come to life would it be the end of the universe as we know it?

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Mike from Canada
"I am not a great photographer! God is a great creator! All I do is capture His creation with the tools He has provided me."
'I like to think so far outside the box that it would require a telephoto lens just to see the box!' ~ 'My Quote :)'

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