Getting Frustrated Taking Child Photos, Want to Quit Sometimes

Forgive me if this is a "rant" that I get carried away with, but this is a source of frustration for me at times & today was one of those days.

I am a "hobbyist" photographer, not a paid-for professional. I have 2 kids, ages 3 & 5. I have a Nikon D5100 with 50mm and an Olympus E-PM1 kit as well. Being that I'm into photography as a hobby & can capture good images when I put my mind to it & circumstances fall in place, it's of course natural that I want to capture images, and QUALITY ones (not just "snaps") of our 2 children.

The trouble is--too often, it's like pulling teeth, and it really irritates me, enough to want to never take another picture of them ever again, not even years from now on their prom dates or their birthdays. It really frustrates me because I have encountered many other subjects near their age who have been far more willing & cooperative, nieces & nephews among them (but not always them), & when I do I'll take pictures of them instead of, not just in addition to, my own kids, because for me photography is supposed to be a JOYOUS occasion, and those other kids are the ones making it so.

On one such occasion I had been trying to photograph my daughter, it wasn't going well (she would look off into space not looking at the camera directly), at the same time & location another child (the daughter of a friend who was visiting) started getting in on it and was really "hamming it up." I got a goldmine of great shots from this child, it was far more joyous. My daughter saw this, THEN she started intruding into the field of view wanting me to take her photo, but I scolded her and ordered her out, telling her "this child cooperates better than you & she's not even my child, you could learn a thing from her."

Please understand--I am not daily nagging my kids for photos, I very commonly will go nearly a week without taking a single photo of them at all--and even on the occasions when I do take photos, I don't do so for long before "releasing" them to allow them to play or whatever, and I reward them for their cooperation, and I pour much love on them. I really do. I pour every bit as much love on them in those occasions as I do irritation or scorn etc when they're being difficult, and I do let them know I do still love them, I just don't like the BEHAVIOR.

But on too many occasions, they just don't cooperate, and I think as a parent that's disrespectful. I don't think they have the right of refusal, unless they're sick or the like. On such occasions, today being one, insomuch that we were going to various "fall festivals" & I wanted some quality shots of them in a pumpkin patch, they can just flat-out stink with their poses. They look off in space, when you ask them to smile it looks "painted-on," it just plain looks horrible--and yet I can easily coax great poses from other kids easily & painlessly.

Maybe my attitude is wrong, but I don't see it as my responsibility as a photographer to be a child psychologist. To me, the poses should pretty much be automatic on command. The "photography" part is about knowing how to work the equipment, how to scope out the scenery for attractive backgrounds and quality lighting, what sort of "props" if any to use to liven up the photos, etc. If it's not about photography itself, I have no interest in having to work at it any at all whatsoever.

The thing is this--I'm always hearing people say not to force kids to pose in photos, but I think (again, as a parent) it's disrespectful. I grant my kids LOTS of playtime, I will let them indulge in treats like ice cream (but I don't let them FILL UP on it), I hug them & love them lots--it's not like I'm 24/7 cracking the whip treating them as if they're nothing more than unpaid child portrait models to me. Again, it's not at all uncommon for me to go a week and not take their picture at all--and yes, when I do, I try to make it fun rather than something to dread. Regardless, a parent very naturally wants photos of their children on days like Halloween, with them in their outfits, and I think it's disrespectful for the children to not cooperate, enough I think it may even be a disciplinary issue.

All of that said, one reason why I've always made my photography a hobby rather than a career--it's always been about what I enjoy doing, and I typically have done landscapes, or portraits of ADULTS, and this is one of the reasons why--I don't like having to play the role of psychologist to get a pose. Landscapes don't resist you, they are what they are, and most adults will do what you tell them (well maybe not "bridezillas" but otherwise it's easy) and it's so much more enjoyable. Thus, at times like this, I have an inclination to just do landscapes and to no longer take any photographs of my kids whatsoever--not even snapshots at birthdays, NOTHING.

Do any of you ever get like this?

And please, try not to bash me too much because again, I promise you, I am not daily "cracking the whip" as I mentioned, and the thing is, I am able on occasion to get some really great photos of them that are exceptional--and I make a point to be thankful for those and to really heap the praise on them when that happens, to just pour loads of love and approval all over them--and again, even on the other occasions, I let them know I still love THEM regardless, I just don't approve of the bad attitude. It's just that it's too much a "pulling teeth" endeavor rather than a joyous one lots of times, and if it's not going to be a joyous one, I'm inclined to stop doing it altogether.

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LRH