"Paul Ryan's early Poll numbers are the worst since Dan Quayle"

(silence...) "Language of origin, please."

"Umm, unknown, I mean, uh.., French. Or was that, Canadian.., yeah, that's it. French-Canadian!"

(again, silence...) "in a sentence, please."

"As to the charge of excessive forum trolling, we the jury find the defendant: a nincompoop."

(15 minutes later...)

N...
I...
N...
C...
O...
M...
P...
O...
O...
P.....

E!!

(audience becoming restless as the judges consult)

"Oh, we're so sorry, but your poop came out a bit long this time around. We can't let you leave empty handed however. Ladies and gentlemen, someone here will soon be enjoying cool evenings aboard a raft ship bound for the US... and an exciting career as a Groupie!

(crowd applauding, wildly)

Join us again next week folks, right here for another exciting episode of: Spell Your Way To A Top Ten Career!"