d800 shooting banks with self timer and bracketing

I have a d800e and am trying to figure out if its possible to have the self timer and bracketing change by simply changing the bank.
I want this:
Bank A - No Timer and No Bracketing
Bank B - Self Timer at 2 seconds
Bank C - Self Timer at 2 seconds AND Bracketing ON

From what I read, you need to manually change the bank, then fool with the self timer, then fool with bracketing. How exactly did they leave these features out of the bank settings? They made a bank that does not save some settings...why? What do you possibly gain by keeping them out of a bank setting. I cant get the stabilizer into the bank, but thats because there is a switch on the lens. Thats the only thing I should not be able to stick in the bank. They have ensured that you cannot get what you want without further messing with the camera.