Unhappy with XPro1, looking into OM-D?

So I've had the XP1 + 35mm 1.4 for a few days. That lens is great and the sensor kills. The rest of the camera bothers me.

AF too slow to capture any (slow) action, unless you use a deep DOF + zone focus. AF hunt mode in dimmed light. Laggy EVF that freezes when trying to AF & I dont find the OVF as magical as people say. Video mode as dumbed down as possible. Camera is not exactly light and small, though the lens is. IMO it is a risky system to invest into, with an overpriced body.

I mostly take portraits of my family & friends, sometimes I like wide angle shots with off-camera flash . Occasionally I film music videos or events. I've been through camera as big as the 1Ds mk2 and as small as the Nex3. I find size, weight & colors more important than high ISO. Most of my photos don't get printed, they get resized and uploaded to a website.

My questions: similar m43 users, do you miss the DOF control of larger sensor? Does OM-D EVF compare to Nex7's, does it lag?