Ken Rockwell: Nikon 1 System = Dead Nikon Pronea System

Started Oct 5, 2011 | Discussions thread
Mark B.
Forum ProPosts: 14,368
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Re: Ken Rockwell is the Chuck Norris of photography
In reply to exp1orer, Oct 8, 2011

LOL, that was hilarious! It should be submitted as an article

exp1orer wrote:

  • Ken Rockwell's camera has similar settings to ours, except his are: P[erfect] Av[Awesome Priority Tv[Totally Awesome Priority] M[ajestic]

  • Ken Rockwell doesn't color correct. He adjusts your world to match his.

  • Sure, Ken Rockwell deletes a bad photo or two. Other people call these Pulitzers.

  • Ken Rockwell doesn't adjust his DOF, he changes space-time.

  • Circle of confusion? You might be confused. Ken Rockwell never is.

  • Ken Rockwell doesn't wait for the light when he shoots a landscape - the light waits for him.

  • Ken Rockwell never flips his camera in portrait position, he flips the earth

  • Ken Rockwell ordered an L-lens from Nikon, and got one.

  • Ken Rockwell is the only person to have photographed Jesus; unfortunately he ran out of film and had to use a piece of cloth instead.

  • When Ken Rockwell brackets a shot, the three versions of the photo win first place in three different categories

  • Before Nikon or Canon releases a camera they go to Ken and they ask him to test them, the best cameras get a Nikon sticker and the less good get a Canon sticker

  • Once Ken tested a camera, he said I cant even put Canon on this one,thats how Pentax was born

  • Rockwellian policy isn't doublethink - Ken doesn't even need to think once

  • Ken Rockwell doesn't use flash ever since the Nagasaki incident.

  • Only Ken Rockwell can take pictures of Ken Rockwell; everyone else would just get their film overexposed by the light of his genius

  • Ken Rockwell wanted something to distract the lesser photographers, and lo, there were ducks.

  • Ken Rockwell is the only one who can take self-portraits of you

  • Ken Rockwell's nudes were fully clothed at the time of exposure

  • Ken Rockwell once designed a zoom lens. You know it as the Hubble SpaceTelescope.

  • When Ken unpacks his CF card, it already has masterpieces on it.

  • Rockwell portraits are so lifelike, they have to pay taxes

  • On Ken Rockwell's desktop, the Trash Icon is really a link to National Geographic Magazine

  • Ken Rockwell spells point-and-shoot "h-a-s-s-e-l-b-l-a-d"

  • When Ken Rockwell went digital, National Geographic nearly went out of business because he was no longer phyically discarding photos

  • For every 10 shots that Ken Rockwell takes, 11 are keepers.

  • Ken Rockwell's digital files consist of 0's, 1's AND 2's.

  • Ken Rockwell never focus, everything moves into his DoF

  • Ken Rockwell's shots are so perfect, Adobe redesigned photoshop for him: all it consists of is a close button.

  • The term tripod was coined after his silhouette

  • Ken Rockwell never produces awful work, only work too advanced for the viewer

  • A certain braind of hig-end cameras was named after people noticed the quality was a lot "like a" rockwell

  • Ken Rockwell isn't the Chuck Norris of photography; Chuck Norris is the Ken Rockwell of martial arts.

  • Ken Rockwell never starts, he continues

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