Wouldn't it be much more fun if...

Started Aug 1, 2011 | Discussions thread
Chato
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Re: Ok, I give in, Two Sheep jokes... :(
In reply to Great Bustard, Aug 13, 2011

Great Bustard wrote:

Chato wrote:

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help. The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.

The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will, instead, lay down and wallow in the grass when they are pregnant.

The Man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back and goes to bed.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are laying in the grass. "No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them's honking the horn."

I overheard one of the sheep saying, "A good farmer will do that for ya."

A New Zealander, a sheep and a dog were survivors of a terrible shipwreck.

They found themselves stranded on a desert island and after being there for a while they got into the habit of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful soft clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle; a perfect night for romance.

As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the New Zealander.

Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.

But the dog got jealous, growling fiercely until the New Zealander took his arm from around the sheep.

After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by and lo, and behold, there was another shipwreck.

The only survivor was a beautiful young woman, the most beautiful woman the New Zealander had ever seen.

She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her, and they slowly nursed her back to health.

When the young woman was well enough, they introduced her to their evening beach ritual.

It was another beautiful evening: red soft clouds, a warm and gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.

Pretty soon the New Zealander started to get 'those feelings' again.

He fought them as long as he could, but he finally gave in and leaned over to the young woman, cautiously, and whispered in her ear...

'Would you mind taking the dog for a walk?'.

I don't get it -- makes perfect sense to me. He didn't want the dog around when he put the moves on the sheep. What am I missing?

Obviously, you're missing your favorite sheep...

Dave

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"Everyone who has ever lived, has lived in Modern Times"

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